Do you sometimes forget what year it is? Do you ever find yourself disoriented, consumed with a feeling of doubt, dread, or hysteria?

Lemony Snicket's Calendar of Unfortunate Events will help you navigate thirteen months -- January 2004 through January 2005 -- with relative confidence. Featuring full-color art by Brett Helquist, startling photographs from our Snicket Archives, depressing daily notations from Lemony Snicket, querulous quotes, rude reminders, and an extra day in February -- absolutely free -- this calendar may be the most excruciating way to remember that your days are numbered.