One terrible winter, King Leander leads his troop of bears down the mountains of Sicily in search of food. Along their treacherous and sometimes heartbreaking journey, the bears encounter an army of wild boars, a wily professor who may or may not be a magician, ghosts, snarling Marmoset the Cat, and, worst of all, treachery within their own ranks.

If the bears' famous invasion of sicily sounds too distressing to read alone, that's because it is. Lemony Snicket's introduction to this extraordinary tale is unlikely to make you feel any better, and a careful study of Snicket's Reader's Companion, cleverly hidden at the back, may actually make you feel worse. For that reason, among many others, it is recommended that you either abandon this book, abandon plans to read it, or abandon all hope.