Dear Listener,

The word carnivorous means meat eating and this carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

It would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:

Perplexing word games
Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
Art from The Brett Helquist gallery

Sadly for me, I continue to research the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but your time might be filled with something more palatable. With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Performed by Tim Curry