Dear Reader,

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater.

In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn't want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Amazon.com Exclusive Content
Lemony Snicket Door Poster
Keep the wrong people out of your room! Print, personalize, and post this important sign.

An Interview with Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket has captured the hearts of childen and adults alike with the hilariously gloomy series that began, of course, with The Bad Beginning. Amazon.com had a chance to question the author of this marvelously morbid and delightfully depressing series, and the communication was grim indeed. Read the cumbersome communique and see for yourself.

A Few Words from Daniel Handler
Due to the world-wide web of conspiracy which surrounds him, Lemony Snicket often communicates with the general public through his representative, Daniel Handler. We were lucky enough to hear from Daniel, and asked him the questions we ask every author, Amazon.com's The Significant Seven